Before becoming pregnant I was an avid runner and yogi. I had great intentions of working out during my pregnancy, but I was always so tired after work. On most days I opted for the couch rather than my running shoes. This daily decision (combined with some not-so-healthy “occasional” food choices) caused me to gain some serious weight during pregnancy. And we’re not talking your recommended 25-35 pounds. I gained a bit more than that. OK, fine. I gained double that. But who’s counting? I convinced myself that it was OK because I’d have lots of time on maternity leave to exercise and get back in shape. I’d hop on the treadmill when Lukas was napping or pop in a workout DVD before he woke up for the day.  (I’ll wait for you to stop laughing at my naivety. Clearly I hadn’t done this baby thing before.)

Fast forward to the day I gave birth to Lukas when I dropped 13 pounds in ONE DAY thanks to an eight pound baby. I was off to a great start. All I had to do was kick the other 50 or so pounds. Easy, right? Wrong! I quickly realized he needed all my time and any extra time I had would be spent sleeping and possibly taking a shower. I continued to make excuses for not working out: once he stops eating so often and starts sleeping through the night, I’ll go for that run. It’s freezing outside and I can’t take a walk with an infant. But they were all legitimate excuses because working out did not come first, Lukas did. My physique could wait. The crying, hungry baby could not.

It took me over nine months to lose all the weight. One of the hardest things for me since becoming a mom has been figuring out how to manage my time and juggle all my responsibilities. Finding time to work out continues to be a struggle for me, I’m probably not alone in this! I’ve had to accept the fact that I don’t have time to work out for an hour (or even 30 minutes) every day. I’m lucky to get three days of exercise in each week. I’ve revamped the way that I think about exercise. My new motto: any exercise is better than no exercise. I take the stairs instead of the elevator in my parking deck. I try to fit in a 20 minute walk in the middle of my work day if I have some down time. And many nights Lukas and I have dance parties in the kitchen while dinner is in the oven (holding on to 22 extra pounds of toddler while hopping and dancing around your kitchen is a workout, trust me!).  Every little bit counts.

I have recently started running again on the weekends. My husband and son do their own thing so I can have some “me” time. I put on my running shoes, press play on my workout mix and head out the door. I had forgotten how empowered I feel when I’m outside running alone. It feels good to listen to some music and just run freely. It doesn’t matter how far or how fast I go. The important thing is that I go. I feel better about myself when I get some exercise and I know that when I’m feeling good, everyone in my home is happier because I’m a happier mom and wife. It can be hard to carve out the time, but I think it’s really important and I’m going to keep trying my best to fit it in each week. I know I will fail some weeks/months, and that’s OK. 

As moms we have a lot on our plates and we need to cut ourselves some slack if we can’t do it all, all the time. But you might be surprised at how good you feel if you take a little time for yourself and get those endorphins going. Do you have any great exercise tips? How do you find the time?

As I reflect on the pearls of wisdom that my mother shared with me, I find that I’ve adopted many of those same sayings when speaking to my children and grandchildren – even some of the things that I told myself I’d never say! I guess it is true that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Here are a few lessons that I learned from my mother and have passed on to my children:

Appreciate every moment. My mother always used to tell me to enjoy every moment because the years would go by faster than I thought. Well, it’s true – the years have flown by. Every once in a while, it’s important to just stop and enjoy the little things in life. Some days may seem to go by ever so slowly, but the years will fly by. Enjoy every moment you have with your family.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. As adults, we know we need to eat breakfast each day to perform our best. Medical professionals tell us that children’s growing bodies and developing brains rely on a consistent supply of food. When children miss breakfast, their next meal is often not in their control. Going for a long period without nourishment can lead to physical, cognitive or even behavioral problems.

All moms have to say it: Eat your fruits and veggies! Make eating healthy fun for your child. As you’re preparing dinner, let him help you make the salad. It’s an easy and simple way for your child to have responsibility and learn about healthy ingredients.

If you don’t have something nice to say…don’t say anything at all. Remind your child that friendship and respect go hand in hand. If your child speaks out inappropriately, kindly explain to her that words can hurt her friends’ feelings. If she remembers to think before she speaks, she can avoid hurting others.

What did your mom used to tell you that you find yourself saying now that you’re a mom? Happy Mother’s Day to all of our wonderful moms out there! ]]> http://drzandfriends.com/2012/05/mother%e2%80%99s-day-appreciating-the-moments/feed/ 0 http://drzandfriends.com/2012/05/teacher-appreciation-week/ http://drzandfriends.com/2012/05/teacher-appreciation-week/#comments Mon, 07 May 2012 12:58:41 +0000 Dr. Mary Zurn http://drzandfriends.com/?p=2349 Read more]]> Teachers wear many hats – communicators, educators, role models, fosterers of imagination, dreams and creativity – the list goes on and on. This week is one that means a lot to me – National Teacher Appreciation Week – when we celebrate teachers for their all-important contribution to the future. We salute them for their dedication, passion and commitment to a profession that’s so important but not one that’s seen as glamorous!

Think back to your favorite teachers. How would you want to thank them if you saw them again? You can apply those same ideas to thanking your child’s teacher during Teacher Appreciation Week. It can be a simple “thank you” that you communicate when you drop your child off in the morning or when you pick him up in the afternoon. If you want to take your gratitude a step further, share your feedback with the school’s upper-level management. This demonstrates to your child’s teacher, as well as management, the true level of your appreciation.

Beyond Teacher Appreciation Week, there are plenty of things you can do year-round to acknowledge your child’s teacher for their hard work. Teachers spend countless hours prepping and organizing and other little things that sometimes we as parents overlook. Here are a few ways to recognize your child’s teacher this week or any other time of the year for their hard work:

Show your support. When your child comes home with a note from the teacher or papers for you to sign, be sure to take the time to read them over and if necessary, get them back to the teacher in a timely manner. Reading communications from your child’s teacher will ensure that you stay informed of what’s going on in your child’s classroom and will let the teacher feel your support.

Be specific. While teachers have an impact on many areas of a child’s life, sometimes you’ll notice your child do something specific that shows he or she has made significant progress. Take a moment to thank your child’s teacher for those things specifically. This will show the teacher that you recognize the difference their work with your child has made and that you appreciate the effort.

Put yourself in a teacher’s shoes. It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that teachers have more than just your child to work with. Consider what it would be like to give your attention to even half a classroom of children! The very thought of that might compel you to write a thank you note right now!

Take the time to get to know your child’s teacher. This will foster open communication and create the foundation for a two-way relationship. Introduce yourself during the first week of school and check in several times a year.

We are so grateful to our Primrose teachers across the country for building a foundation for Active Minds, Healthy Bodies and Happy Hearts. And most importantly, for making a difference in lives of our children and families! We appreciate you this week–and every week!

The Big Alfie and Annie Rose Storybook by Shirley Hughes is a collection of nine short stories and poems with colorful illustrations depicting Alfie and his baby sister, Annie Rose. In one story, Alfie tries so hard to be the best of big brothers and helps Annie Rose learn to feed herself only to hear her learn to say his friend Bernard’s name before she learns to say his. This is also a book about a friendly community where everyone knows each other. You and your child can’t help but connect with the true-to-life situations and feelings described in the book.

There’s a real lesson to be learned by a younger sister in a long  time favorite of mine, Jamaica Tag-Along, written by Juanita Havill and sensitively illustrated by Anne Sibley O’Brien. Jamaica is very disappointed and unhappy when her older brother Ossie calls her a tag-along and makes it clear he doesn’t want her going to his basketball game. As she distracts herself by building a sand castle a younger child comes along and disturbs her. Jamaica gradually comes to realize she is treating the child just the way Ossie treated her. The insight and self awareness Jamaica gains from the experience provide a turning point in her development that is likely to resonate with children.

Kevin Henkes is an author who unfailingly taps into children’s feelings. In Julius, Baby of the World, Lilly is convinced that the arrival of her new baby brother is the worst thing that has ever happened to her. She wants him to go back where he came from and doesn’t mind saying so. Her mom has to reign in Lily’s jealously, which is almost out of control. You can’t help but smile, however, when Lily adamantly defends Julius when someone else dares to criticizes him.

Some other great books on the subject of sibling relationships include:
Max’s First Word by Rosemary Wells
My Rotten Redheaded Older Brother by Patricia Polacco
Za-Za’s Baby Brother by Lucy Cousins
My Big Sister by Valorie Fisher ]]> http://drzandfriends.com/2012/05/may-books-of-the-month-sibling-rivalry/feed/ 0 http://drzandfriends.com/2012/05/teaching-your-child-responsibility/ http://drzandfriends.com/2012/05/teaching-your-child-responsibility/#comments Wed, 02 May 2012 17:14:37 +0000 Dr. Mary Zurn http://drzandfriends.com/?p=2320 Read more]]> The concept of responsibility is foreign to young children who are still learning that their actions have an impact on those around them. It takes time and some coaching from parents for children to gain a broad perspective of what it means to be responsible for themselves and the world around them. The process of learning to respond appropriately to the people and environment around them is called self-regulation. In time, your child will learn how to asses a situation and react based on what he already knows. Self-regulation is about remembering that he will get a turn and that waiting in line to go on the slide is more acceptable than pushing his way to the front.

It’s important to teach your child to stop and think before reacting to frustration or uncomfortable situations and how to avoid impulsive decisions. Giving your child the option to make decisions about her behavior fosters independence and empowers her to think for herself. Talk about how the completion of tasks, such as setting the table or making sure the family pet has food and water, has an impact on others. This will let her know that her role is important and will teach her accountability in reaching a common goal. Be sure the assigned tasks are age appropriate!

Here are some other tips for helping your child learn the importance of responsibility and thinking before acting:

Set an example. Children are always watching their parents, so be sure to set a good example. If you are asking your child to pick up after himself and to put things away where they belong, be sure you make a habit of doing the same.

Relay the message with a book. Books offer stories, characters and pictures that your child can relate to, so pick up a book about responsibility and start reading together. My April books of the month can get you started!

Offer praise. When your child sets the table without asking, tell him thank you and connect his help back to the big picture (e.g. your family can now enjoy dinner together). This will reinforce his decision to carry out his assigned tasks and is likely to resonate with him the next time he’s asked to complete something. ]]> http://drzandfriends.com/2012/05/teaching-your-child-responsibility/feed/ 0 http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/focus-on-the-%e2%80%9chow%e2%80%9d-of-feeding/ http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/focus-on-the-%e2%80%9chow%e2%80%9d-of-feeding/#comments Mon, 30 Apr 2012 14:14:56 +0000 Ann Dunaway Teh http://drzandfriends.com/?p=2310 Read more]]> Often times we are so focused on the “what” of feeding that we totally forget the “how.” While the “what” is certainly important, the “how” is just as important. Last April, I talked about The Secrets to Feeding a Healthy Family, and introduced the work of Ellyn Satter, one of the foremost authorities on children’s nutrition. She pioneered the Division of Responsibility concept when it comes to feeding our children. In short, parents are responsible for the What, When, and Where of feeding, while the child is responsible for the How Much or Whether to eat at all.

We can probably all think back to our own childhood or talk to friends to hear examples of “the clean plate club,” where we sat at the dinner table for hours in a battle of will, food being withheld or used as punishment, etc. These early experiences do much to shape our own relationship with food and set the tone for how we feel about food for the rest of our lives, not to mention how we choose to present food to our own children. Parents have the best of intentions, and are often not aware how our actions can really backfire into negative behavior in our children such as restrictive eating, overeating or picky eating.

Family style meals are a great way to achieve the Division of Responsibility. The parent fixes a variety of foods and puts them all on the dinner table. Each person can then choose which food and the amount for his or her own plate. If you don’t want the food in the middle of your dinner table, you could create a buffet on the kitchen counter and allow everyone to serve themselves. Of course, having a sturdy stool or step ladder for the children makes this easier. If your child chooses not to eat a portion of the food or only wants to eat fruit, for example, then that is okay. There will always be another meal where he will most likely make up for it. It is difficult to resist the urge to cajole, bribe or negotiate with your child on what and how much to eat, but do not interfere. Rather, the best course of action is to be a good example by eating a variety of foods and refraining from negative comments about food dislikes.

A twist on this concept is the “Dinner Bar,” which fellow dietitian and child nutrition expert, Jill Castle of Just the Right Byte, created. She prepares an assortment of foods and toppings that the family can then assemble into their own entrée. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, just quick and easy to throw together. Some ideas include tacos, chopped salad, tostadas, pizza or baked potatoes. My family recently assembled our own pizzas and my 3-year-old loved picking and choosing the toppings for his very own pizza.

Meals should be relaxing and enjoyable for everyone, not a stressful battle. With a toddler around, this is often easier said than done – and I know from experience at my own house. Once the food is served, the parent’s job is done with regards to food selection. You can now focus on teaching your child what is acceptable behavior at the table. See Dr. Z’s post on Teaching Table Manners for more on that. Of course, there are some nights where I am tired or feeling worn down from my son’s antics, but I know that being consistent is very important for him to learn the rules and for us to continue to enjoy our meals together. It is our time to talk to one another and catch up on daily events. I just love it when my son turns to my husband and asks in a grown-up voice, “Daddy, how was your day today?”

What is your family’s favorite way to serve dinner?

Click here to view the embedded video.

If you are anything like me, you can’t wait to get out in the garden each spring. When my children were young, it seemed the best way to make the most of the day was to include them in the process. Here are my tips to help you include your child and get the job done.

Give them tools. Child-sized gloves, child-safe hoes and rakes, and perhaps even their own miniature watering bucket and carrying tote will make all the difference. You’ll be able to give him a “special” task and know that he is safe to use the tools he has.

Give them space. Growing up, my mom always gave me my own section of the garden to work with. Each spring she would take me out to buy plants that were pretty much fail proof. Think petunias, portulaca and other flowers that are durable and non-toxic. Those are the kind of plants to put your child in charge of.

Give them containers. The great thing about using plastic containers is that your child can actually pick up her plants and move them wherever she likes. Your child will have a sense of ownership by caring for the plant and you don’t have to worry about pots that can break. 

Give them edible plants: Think herbs and other plants that sprout in a short amount of time so your child can see that the plant’s purpose is to grow a fruit or vegetable. You can then use these items in your meals and your child can make the connection that the garden is for growing food that we eat at the table. 

I hope these tips help you have an organized gardening season with your little ones in tow. Please, let us know – how do you include your child in the process of caring for your garden?  We’d love to know!

To understand a complex word like “conservation,” children need to be able to associate it with synonyms and specific, memorable behaviors. Explain what it means to recycle and conserve and give concrete examples like drawing on both sides of the paper, or reusing boxes and empty paper towel rolls for other purposes. Make simple, environmentally friendly activities a habit in your home for everyone and talk about why it’s important to take care of the environment. Following your example and hearing your reinforcement will give your child a sense of accomplishment every time he puts a plastic bottle in the recycling bin or turns off the faucet while he’s brushing his teeth.

It takes practice to create a good habit.  Here are a few tips on how to introduce the “reduce, reuse, and recycle” mindset to your child:

Less is more. Young children typically don’t understand what it means to save – whether it’s money or other resources like light, water, paper or glue.  It’s a good idea to say, “one drop will do,” and have him repeat it as you hand him glue.  Remind everyone in the family turn off or put away things they aren’t using, and put your words to action. Remind him to use both sides of paper to color before grabbing another piece and explain that because paper is made mostly from ground up trees, he’s saving trees when he conserves paper.

Bottle it up. Giving your child a sense of responsibility helps him understand what he’s doing. Have your child make a sign for the recycling bin and give him the responsibility of rinsing out used plastic containers before placing them in the bin. He’ll be proud of his work and will begin to understand what he’s accomplishing every time he recycles. A conservation book we use in our Primrose classrooms that is particularly easy for children to understand is Recycle Every Day! by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace.  It’s full of child-friendly ideas you might not have thought of.

Take a trip. Find a local Earth Day event in your community for a fun family outing. Children naturally imitate adults as part of their learning process.  He’ll want to get in on the action when he sees others do good things for the earth. Check out some other books about the environment from your local library to read together. Try taking a trip to your local park and with your child’s help make a list of all the things you both can do to help keep the park clean. The list can be the start of a book he can illustrate when you go home.

Earth Day can serve as a starting point but do your best to show your child these new habits are here to stay. Make simple activities, like recycling at least one thing every day, part of your family’s daily routine. If he hears it enough from you, you’re likely to hear your child start to use the word “conservation,” and the more you do together, the more he will begin to understand his role in taking care of the world around him. ]]> http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/earth-day-teaching-children-to-take-care-of-the-world-around-them/feed/ 0 http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/april-showers-bring%e2%80%a6lessons-about-literacy/ http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/april-showers-bring%e2%80%a6lessons-about-literacy/#comments Mon, 16 Apr 2012 17:05:37 +0000 earl.phalen@reachoutandread.org http://drzandfriends.com/?p=2275 Read more]]> April is a month of important weather milestones.

From the traditional showers to the first blooming flowers, Mother Nature is working hard to prepare for spring. 

Now is the perfect time to use reading – and related activities – to teach your children about the ebbs and flows of weather patterns.

Here are some great ideas to help you and your children make learning about weather fun:

Meet a meteorologist. Arrange a tour of a local television station and a meeting with a meteorologist (if your child is old enough, he/she can submit the request to the station!). Your child will have the chance to see the weather studio and learn how the meteorologist predicts the forecast. Encourage your child to write a thank you note after the visit!

Float in the clouds. Visit your local library and look for books that describe the different types of clouds. Have your child draw and label them in a sketch pad. Then, spend some time lying in the grass together trying to identify what you see in the sky!

Wonder about the wind. Learn about wind patterns online together and pick the perfect day to fly a kite or hang a wind chime. If you are especially crafty, you and your children can make your own kites or create your own wind chimes!

Celebrate the rain. Older children can design their own rain gauges and chart rainfall over the month. Compare the data with information you find online about past Aprils – and create a colorful graph! It will be fun to see how this year stacks up! Younger children can take a rainy day walk – and sing, dance, and learn poems about rain. Here are some great ideas from our partner, Scholastic.

Get cooking! One of the most popular children’s books related to weather is Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett. Share the story with your children, and then look up meatball recipes together in a cookbook or online. Head to the kitchen and get cooking! Recipes are perfect tools to teach children about measurements and following directions.

Check out these books about weather, recommended by Reach Out and Read’s pediatricians!

“Clifford and the Big Storm” by Norman Bridwell (Scholastic, 1995)

“The Cloud Book” by Tomie dePaola (Holiday House, 1984)

“What Will the Weather Be?” by Lynda DeWitt (HarperCollins, 1993)

“Weather Forecasting” by Gail Gibbons (Aladdin, 1993)

“Weather Words and What They Mean” by Gail Gibbons (Holiday House, 1992)

For reading tips and information on the importance of reading aloud, click here. ]]> http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/april-showers-bring%e2%80%a6lessons-about-literacy/feed/ 0 http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/you%e2%80%99re-not-alone/ http://drzandfriends.com/2012/04/you%e2%80%99re-not-alone/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:04:07 +0000 Ryan Swanson http://drzandfriends.com/?p=2246 Read more]]> Have you ever been up at 3 o’clock in the morning, rocking your teething baby to sleep for the third time in two hours?

Have you left your feverish child at home with your mother or a babysitter because you have an important meeting at work that you simply cannot miss? 

Have you given in and fed your toddler mac & cheese for the fourth night in a row because he’s throwing every other food you offer him on the ground and you’re worried the dog is getting fat from all the scraps?

So have I. And I have been brought to tears because of each of those scenarios (sometimes due to laughter, but more often due to frustration). I’ve also felt like no one else could possibly know what I’m going through because it seems that everyone else has this parenting thing figured out. Their child must have come with an instruction manual and I’m still waiting for mine in the mail. But I know the reality is that we’re all just doing the best that we can. It’s just that some people don’t talk about the hard stuff.  They don’t want others to know they’re struggling. Or they worry that they’ll be perceived as loving their child less if they talk about how they actually enjoy working. They’re fearful of being judged.

But that’s where I’m a little different than the next mom. I think it’s important to put it all out there. Why is it so important to me to?  Because it’s hard being a new parent, and it’s even harder when you’re bombarded with images of super-mom celebrities who lose all the baby weight in two weeks and posts from friends on Facebook who have cleaned their entire house, ran four miles and made homemade baby food before 8 a.m. in the morning. These celebrities and “friends” create a false ideal in our heads of what it means to be a “good mom” and we feel as if we’ve failed if we don’t don’t meet this impossible standard. But if you talk to moms who are honest about parenting, you’ll find that most moms are not perfect. And I am one of those imperfect moms. So my goal on this blog is to share my true experiences as a working mom. Most importantly, I want other moms to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Sometimes (or all the time…) I don’t have time to clean my house, so I hide things behind our closed guest room door when we have friends over for dinner. And the clean laundry, you guessed it, it usually sits unfolded in my dryer. I drink a lot of coffee and I don’t always cook dinner. But what I am, is a working mom with a fierce love for my child, just like many of you. And I hope my posts here help to reassure you that you’re not alone.

Being a parent gives you the greatest joys you will ever know. It also can challenge you in ways that you never imagined. Some days are easy and some days are tough. If you’re going through something, it’s likely that another mom has dealt with the same issue before.  And if you’re having a hard time, it doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a real mom.

So, join me here each month as I share real experiences and hopefully “together” we will not feel alone!